


back 2 u

by sheepxing



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, High School, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, angsty teens, high school band
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-05-30 23:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepxing/pseuds/sheepxing
Summary: kevin wants to make a band. only one person signs up, which sucks. the fact that he hates the one person that signs up makes the whole thing suck even more.





	1. dream in the making

**Author's Note:**

> YALL READY FOR SOME ANGSTY TEENAGER, KINDA HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL-LIKE DRAMA ??? LETS GOOOOOO
> 
> ok, we're in for the long haul here!! get ready for relationship building and drama~ note, when kevin and jacob are talking, they're doing so in english unless otherwise!! (plus eric with either of them uwu)
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

⠀⠀"Interested in joining a band? You can perform at—"

⠀⠀"Not interested."

⠀⠀"By any chance, do you want to join a band—"

⠀⠀"No thanks."

⠀⠀"Would you like to join a band I'm forming—"

⠀⠀"No."

⠀⠀Kevin heaved a deep sigh as he watched another person shuffle away from him down the hallway. He looked down at his clipboard laying on top of his books and binders—at the top in fancy calligraphy,  _Potential Band Members_ —and found no names.  _It's been like this for thirteen days_ , Kevin internally grumbled, hiking up his backpack before beginning to drag himself to the lunchroom.

⠀⠀For as long as he could remember, Kevin loved to perform. Singing, dancing, playing instruments—he loved it all. There was something about picking up the guitar and sitting on his piano bench, or standing on the stage to dance or belting out his favorite songs that brought him happiness like no other thing did. He had done musicals, taken vocal classes, participated in recitals, and performed in the choir of his church for several years among other things. He could hardly begin to explain his love for performing.

⠀⠀When he had transferred to his new high school in Seoul at the beginning of the year, fresh from Canada, he had hoped for some sort of program where he could pursue such interests. Alas, he came up empty-handed and was forced to ask to form such a club or program, and only the other week or so, his idea had been approved by the school staff. However, there was a condition: he had to find another person to join him in two weeks, or his currently-nonexistent band would be terminated and he would have to wait until the following year to begin recruitments again.

⠀⠀A group of rather muscled and large guys charged by him, one knocking all of his things from his arms and sending him to the floor. The guy absentmindedly called out, "My bad!" over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner with his friend group. Kevin blew his black fringe out of his face, irritated.

⠀⠀ _This fucking blows._

⠀⠀He shrugged his backpack off, then picked himself off of the floor and began to gather all of the papers that had fallen from his binder's hold, silently moping the entire time. "Stupid jocks," he mumbled underneath his breath, "stupid people not wanting to join my band. Their loss, not mine." Kevin sighed as he crammed some more papers behind the front cover. His band was doomed before it even started. He looked at a drawing he had stuffed into the plastic cover of the binder, the picture depicting him playing keyboard and singing while an empty drum set and guitar sat in the background. Running a thumb over the drawing, Kevin ran a hand through his hair and began to chew on his bottom lip. Should he just give up now?

⠀⠀A person suddenly crouched down next to him and began to grab the rest of the papers that had been knocked from his binder. Quickly handing them to Kevin, the person stood up and began to walk away. Hastily, Kevin also shot up onto his feet and called out to the retreating mysterious person, "Hey! Thank you so much for the help!"

⠀⠀The guy turned around and smiled sweetly. "Yeah, no problem," he said before turning a corner and disappearing. Kevin blinked in confusion. He hadn't looked at the face of the helper for more than a few seconds, but it looked strangely like Ja—

⠀⠀Kevin suddenly stopped the thought in its tracks, hitting himself in the head with the flat of his hand and wincing from the pain. There was absolutely no  _way_ that the guy had been who Kevin thought he saw. To end up at the same school after being separated the way they did was too much of a coincidence, if not impossible. Kevin gazed in the direction the mysterious guy had went, then shook his head as he bent down to gather his bags and books.

⠀⠀"You're  _over_ him, Kev," he muttered to himself under his breath. "Stop thinking about him. You're fuckin' seeing him everywhere now." Thankfully, as he walked to the cafeteria, the guy that had helped in the hallway was forgotten as his worries for his band pushed to the forefront of his brain again.

 

* * *

 

 

⠀⠀Kevin felt he was wearing the disappointment he felt on his face too carelessly as he sat down in his seat with his tray of food. His friend Eric pointed at him with his chopsticks.

⠀⠀"Nothing, huh?" Eric asked. Kevin shook his head.

⠀⠀"No one." He heaved a big sigh, poking at his food. "I want this band thing to work out so badly but it's impossible if no one even wants to try it. . ." Kevin mumbled under his breath. Eric pat him sympathetically on the back.

⠀⠀"You know I'd join you if I could," the younger boy said with a sad smile. Kevin nodded moodily. He knew that, if only Eric weren't already currently occupied with sports, his younger friend would've joined him in a heartbeat. Eric  _was_  pretty talented in the performance area, despite his image being more jock-ish than anything. However, that wasn't the case.

⠀⠀"Do you think Chanhee would want to join?" Kevin asked with the slightest hopeful lilt in his voice as he slumped in his seat. Chanhee was one of the best singers he knew, and there was already an advantage with Chanhee being the vocalist of his band, Chanhee being one of his best friends. Eric shrugged.

⠀⠀"Said he wanted to focus on grades. He already has voice lessons and choirs, too."

⠀⠀Kevin groaned loudly and let his head hit the table with a dull  _thud_! "This isn't going well," he mumbled into the surface of the cafeteria table. Propping his chin up on his elbow, he whined, "I can't have a band if I'm the only one in it!"

⠀⠀Nodding, Eric sympathetically pat Kevin on the back. "There's still that signup sheet in the main hallway, right?" Eric asked gently. Kevin carefully raised a brow at the younger, then sighed again.

⠀⠀"What's the point?" Kevin murmured, poking his rice once more. "Nothing's gonna be there." The signup sheet Eric was referring to was, after all, hidden by dozens of other flyers advertising various services and games for other clubs. It was almost, if not completely impossible for a name to be written on the paper. Eric frowned tightly then crossed his arms.

⠀⠀"You might as well check," the younger chided. "You don't know if there's gonna be a name or not."

⠀⠀"Ten bucks there's nothing," Kevin bet with his hand out, the complete defeat he felt resonating in his voice. Eric took his hand and shook it with a confident smile.

⠀⠀"Deal."

⠀⠀The two finished their lunches, then stood up and left for the main hallway. Looking over at his friend, Kevin couldn't help but notice the victorious smirk on Eric's face. It was unsettling, to say the least, and Kevin hiked up his backpack uncomfortably. There was no  _way_ someone had actually signed up, right? His heartbeat began to pick up at the thought of someone  _actually_ signing up like he had been praying for for these past two weeks. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head.  _It's better to assume the worst than expect the best. Just assume you're right and nothing's there_ , he reminded himself, despite every fiber of his being tensing him up for a name he wouldn't find.

⠀⠀Once they made their way to the huge bulletin board in the middle of the main hallway, Kevin gently lifted up a multitude of various until he found his now-wrinkled flyer. As he scanned the paper from the bottom to the top, he found no names written on the given lines at the bottom.  _Figures,_ he internally sighed, already ready to demand his ten dollars from Eric.

⠀⠀At the very top, though, on the first line of the signup sheet, was a sole name. Piquing Kevin's interest, he read the name aloud, his voice a mix of confusion and absolute delight as his chest pounded.

⠀⠀"Bae Junyoung," he read, not even bothering to fight down his growing smile despite Eric laughing victoriously and whooping about how he now owed the younger ten dollars. That kind of shit didn't even  _matter_ right now—someone had  _actually_ signed up for his band after nearly two weeks of pure rejection! Kevin almost wanted to break into song. Excitedly, he ripped the paper out from underneath all of the flyers covering it and began to wave it around excitedly, for no reason other than that he was happy that his band had a fighting chance.

⠀⠀"Told you," Eric sang, dancing around. He clearly knew about the sole name on the sheet before he made the bet for an easy ten bucks, but Kevin didn't feel like chewing him out for it. Kevin fist-pumped into the air, then joined Eric in dancing in the middle of the hallway and attracting strange looks from passing students. Eventually, they had to separate to their individual classes and run, but Eric gave Kevin a high-five and promised to meet him in the music room after school to see the new recruit if his baseball practice allowed him to do so.

⠀⠀Still in a daze as he sat down in his seat in his classroom, Kevin hugged the paper close to his chest, his heart leaping with excitement.

⠀⠀ _Bae Junyoung_ , he thought with a happy smile,  _you're my angel_.

 

* * *

 

⠀⠀The very second the bell rang for his last class, Kevin packed up faster than he had ever packed up before and raced out the door, eager to get to the music room where he would be able to meet this  _Bae Junyoung_  character. He could barely utter his apologies in the midst of his excitement as he shoved his way through the busy crowds of the hallway.

⠀⠀Kevin stopped by the door to the music room, breathing heavily because he had, after all, just sprinted full speed from the top floor to the bottom, from one side to the other. Realizing that he probably looked incredibly ridiculous panting like a dog in the hallway, he stopped and straightened his posture. He ran his hands through his hair in an effort to comb it, then took several deep breaths to calm his racing heart down. There was no window, so Kevin couldn't peek in and check if there was, in fact, a person waiting for him behind the door, but he pushed onward despite his nerves causing his hands to shake a bit. He was already beginning to compose his welcoming speech in his head.

⠀⠀Opening the door, Kevin was greeted with a light melody on an acoustic guitar from the back of the room. Kevin could hardly conceal his squeal of happiness; the guy already showed immense musical promise! After he dropped his backpack by the door, he turned towards a mysterious boy in the corner that had their back to him. Nervously, Kevin cleared his throat.  _This is my chance_!

⠀⠀"Hm?" the mysterious person hummed, just as Kevin was about to open his mouth. The person laid the guitar down on the floor gently, reaching up and stretching his back. Then, the boy stood up and dusted his hands on his pans before turning around and smiling warmly. Kevin's blood immediately turned cold, his welcoming speech suddenly caught in his throat and unable to come out.

⠀⠀The boy waved a little. "Hello, I'm Bae Junyoung," he introduced warmly. Kevin wanted to swear badly as he felt his heart and stomach flip the same way it did back in the seventh grade. He could do nothing but stare as the other boy stuck his hand out for a shake as the supposed Junyoung continued on with perfect English and a knowing smile.

⠀⠀"But you can call me Jacob. Hey, Kevin. It's been a while."

 


	2. first(?) impressions

⠀⠀Kevin clenched his fists, doing his absolute best to not snatch up his bag and run out of the room as fast as he could. His face burned as he weakly shook Jacob's hand with his clammy one.

⠀⠀"J-Jacob. . ." Kevin stammered, unable to look Jacob in the eyes. He took a deep, shuddering breath, then continued quietly, "I didn't know you moved to Korea."

⠀⠀He didn't even need to meet the other's eyes to feel Jacob's guilty gaze on him before Jacob even said, "Well. . .  _nobody_  knew, so it wasn't just you, Kev, it's just—"

⠀⠀Kevin's head snapped up immediately at the sound of his nickname. "It's Kevin," he bit out. Jacob recoiled back a bit like he had been hit in the face before nodding mutely.

⠀⠀"I'm sorry," Jacob muttered, playing with his hands as if it was the only thing he could do at the moment.  _He does that when he's nervous_ , Kevin suddenly remembered. "How have you been?" Jacob then asked softly after several moments of silence. "How's. . . Mr. Morrison? Rachel? Or Mia? Zach? Jiwon—"

⠀⠀" _All_ fine. You've missed nothing since you left," Kevin snapped. He regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth, knowing the harshness in his tone was a bit too much when he saw Jacob wilt a bit like a flower. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Why are you here, Jacob?"

⠀⠀Jacob was chewing on his bottom lip, then straightened and looked Kevin in the eye. "I wanna join your band, Kevin," he said. Kevin raised a brow.

⠀⠀"I guess not anymore after you saw that it was me, huh?" he said bitterly, turning away. He felt two hands grab his shoulders and spin him around until he found himself staring directly into Jacob's eyes.

⠀⠀"Do you not want me to join because of something that happened four years ago?" Jacob asked incredulously, sounding almost hurt as his eyes widened.

⠀⠀Kevin bit his lip. Perhaps, to Jacob, he was being ridiculous for not wanting Jacob around for something that happened when they were thirteen. He knew Jacob had every qualification imaginable to be in the group—a lovely singing voice, dancing skills, the ability to play three different instruments, and most importantly, passion and dedication that almost rivaled his own. However, Jacob never knew about what had happened after he had left, and their last words before Jacob had disappeared to Korea couldn't stop ringing in his head as he gazed at Jacob's face.

⠀⠀"Kevin, are you listening to me?" Jacob asked, a hint of exasperation in his voice, which only served to aggravate Kevin further. "I know we've had bad blood before, but I'm the only one who even bothered to sign up, so you might as well just let me join. What's wrong?"

⠀⠀Kevin ripped Jacob's hands off of his shoulders. "You hurt me, Jacob.  _That's_ what's wrong," he said quietly, his voice trembling as his hands shook. "I trusted that you would accept me, and you  _didn't_. I remember _exactly_  what you said and the face you had, Jacob. It's so hard to even be in the same fucking room with you anymore." Kevin stopped there, not even trusting his own voice anymore as it got caught in his throat again. The mere thought of all the specifics made his chest burn, and Kevin wished he hadn't remember it at all.

⠀⠀"Kevin, we were  _thirteen_ —"

⠀⠀"What could've possibly changed since then, Jacob?!" Kevin screamed, his chest heaving as the fiery anger built up into it became too much to handle. "It might've been four years ago, but the days the followed were the worst fucking days of my life!" he continued, face hot with fury. Inwardly, Kevin was almost surprised at himself at how enraged he was at Jacob. Perhaps, even after all of this time, he hadn't quite gotten over it like he had told himself, he mused silently.

⠀⠀Something in Jacob seemed to falter, almost like he had just been slapped at the accusations thrown at him. The fire in his eyes died a bit, and he reached out to Kevin with a gentle hand. "Kevin, please just let me explain what ha—"

⠀⠀"You don't  _get it_ , do you?!" Kevin cut off angrily, the volume of his voice rising almost to the point of hysterics. "Do you know what it's like for your best friend to look at you with horror? Like you had just turned into a fucking monster? Hm?  _Do you_?!"

⠀⠀Kevin stomped towards Jacob until he had the older backed up against the wall, but the same fiery determination had come back to Jacob's eyes with a vengeance. There would be no backing down today on Jacob's side, Kevin realized, and the fire only served to anger him further. "You have no clue about the effect of what you said to me that day," Kevin murmured under his breath. "No  _fucking_  clue."

⠀⠀Jacob clenched his teeth. "I'm not joining for you, Kevin," he said with thinly veiled anger evident in his voice, though the words that poured so easily out of his mouth seemed to hurt him. "I'm joining because I want to  _perform_. If you don't want me because of our past, then fine. Your band is done for. You and I both know this."

⠀⠀Jacob had an awful tendency of being reasonable and right, dating back to when they were little kids still in Canada, and the fact apparently still lasted to this day. Kevin wanted to rebuke Jacob's statement, but the other boy was right—he had no time left to be able to find someone else to join his band, and Jacob was already an extremely capable performer. He stared at Jacob, praying that he could somehow make the other disappear with only his eyes so he wouldn't have to accept the truth, but it never happened. He heaved a heavy sigh, almost expelling out all of his immediate anger at once, and stepped back from the other boy.

⠀⠀"Yeah, you're in," he muttered reluctantly under his breath as he turned and began to walk away. "I don't have a choice at this point."

⠀⠀Jacob stared at him for a moment, pure fire in his eyes until his chest seemed to deflate of anger as he sighed as well. The fire went out, this time, for good.

⠀⠀"Kevin," Jacob said, his voice its usual softness once more, "if we're gonna make this work for the both of us, then we have to put what happened then behind us. I know what I said was wrong, and I'm sorry, but I swear I've changed now. We can start over and just forget anything ever happened," he insisted. He stuck his hand out for a shake and put on a warm smile, just like he had before they had begun arguing. Jacob had never been a good liar, though, and Kevin could see it in how strained his smile was and how it never fully reached his eyes. "Hi, I'm Jacob—"

⠀⠀"Jacob, I can't do that," Kevin interrupted, his voice breaking as he looked over his shoulder. "I can't just. . . pretend there was never anything between us."

⠀⠀"Kevin, come on—"

⠀⠀"Meet me here tomorrow after school. We're registering with the Student Activity office and walking to my house to practice for the Talent Competition in three months. I have instruments at home, so don't bother bringing anything." The conversation was done there, and Kevin had to tear his eyes away from Jacob's hurt expression.

⠀⠀ Swiftly walking to the door, Kevin snatched up his bag and exited the music room, slamming the door closed with a  _bang_. Once out of the room, he slid down the wall and buried his face in his hands to take deep, shuddering breaths as his heart thudded painfully in his chest. This wasn't what he was expecting at all. He pulled out his phone and shakily began texting Eric, his eyes darting nervously to the music room door next to him as he prayed Jacob didn't come out in the next minute or so.

**moonboy**  
eric are u still @ practice?

**lil sohn**  
coach just let us have a break?? what's up hyung

**moonboy**  
meet me inside? closest door to the field

**moonboy**  
i need u rn...

**lil sohn**  
holdup what's wrong

**lil sohn**  
kev?????

**lil sohn**  
ok i'll make an excuse i'll meet u there

 

* * *

 

⠀⠀Kevin attacked Eric with a hug as soon as the sophomore came in from the doors leading from the baseball field. They stumbled and found themselves leaned against the wall. Shoving Kevin off from on top of him, Eric grunted, "Get off, you're heavy."

⠀⠀"Sorry, sorry. . ."

⠀⠀Eric waved the apology off, then frowned tightly as he looked at Kevin's face. "You okay? You're really red in the face," he pondered, concerned. "Did Bae Junyoung turn out to be a garbage singer?" Eric teased with a playful smile, though his tone relayed more worry than mischief.

⠀⠀Kevin went on to break down what happened just a few minutes earlier, waving his hands around for dramatic emphasis. Eric listened intently, interjecting his own statements as the story progressed, which included things such as various empty promises of violence and plenty of gasps of shock. After Kevin finished, he felt relieved—the pounding in his chest had gone away and the weight he felt previously had been lifted, even if it was only by a small margin. But Eric shot up to his feet, his hands clenched into fists.

⠀⠀"Nope, that guy's gotta go. Been wanting to do this since you told me about that jackass Bae," Eric said determinedly. Kevin wanted to laugh at the ball of fire that was his friend Eric Sohn, but found he was unable to as Jacob's words from so long ago still rang in his head, still unforgotten.

⠀⠀"I. . ." Kevin began, then shook his head and sighed, burying his face into his knees. "He's just my only chance for my band to work and I have no other choice," he mumbled, his voice muffled. Eric crossed his arms.

⠀⠀"Okay, I'll quit baseball so I can join your band!" Eric insisted defiantly. "You can kick that jerk out and it can be you and me performing!"

⠀⠀"Eric, you can't do that—"

⠀⠀"What are you, my mom? You can't tell me what to do, so I'm  _doing it_!" Eric began to march towards the door to the field, presumably to let his coach know of his very sudden resignation. Kevin now couldn't help the smile that overcame his face as he heaved a theatrical sigh and stood up, grabbing Eric's wrist and stopping him in his place. He knew, after all, Eric had a deep love for sports and he wouldn't be able to handle the guilt of taking Eric away from something he loved.

⠀⠀"You're not quitting baseball just because I have to deal with one guy," Kevin said firmly. Eric began to whine—"Why not?! I'm just as good as him! You're not my  _mom_!"—until Kevin gave him a stern look. Eric was always too impulsive for his own good, too eager to jump the gun at a moment's notice to help a friend without considering personal consequences. It was something Kevin sincerely adored about the younger boy, but in this case, it did nothing but exasperate (and perhaps mildly amuse) him.

⠀⠀"Thank you for hearing me out, Eric," Kevin said, pulling the younger close and giving him a quick hug before breaking apart just as swiftly. "Go back to practice, now."

⠀⠀Eric frowned. "But Kev, I can  _help_ you—!"

⠀⠀Kevin shushed him, then nodded. "Yeah, I know. But I'm pretty sure your coach is wondering where you are now, and I'm not getting in trouble because you want to quit for me.  _Go_. We can talk later, and you can help me then."

⠀⠀"But—"

⠀⠀"Oh my god, just  _go_!" Kevin eventually shoved Eric in the general direction of the school doors, fighting down his laughter as Eric continued to whine all the way there. It would've totally cut the seriousness of his situation if he had, after all.

⠀⠀He ran a hand through his hair after Eric had disappeared, suddenly pondering his current situation. The chance of meeting  _Jacob,_ of all people, four years later in a foreign country on the other side of the world was just too unlucky. He could remember how low he felt, how little he thought of himself, how unbearably silent he was after Jacob had suddenly left their middle school without a word, conveniently after his reaction to Kevin's coming out. The mere thought of those years sent a shudder up Kevin's spine.

⠀⠀ _Never again_ , Kevin told himself as he picked up his fallen backpack from the floor and began to exit the school, though even his inner thoughts weren't so sure about it as they replayed Jacob's warm and kind smile he had grown to hate so much in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...yay?
> 
> OK I KNOW THE PRONOUN GAME IS PROBABLY GETTING REALLY ANNOYING BUT PLS REMEMBER THAT I EXPLAINED IT THIS CHAPTER!! "the mere thought of all the specifics made his chest burn, and kevin wished he hadn't remember it at all"! SO BASICALLY KEVIN HAS BEEN TRYING TO REPRESS THE DETAILS OF THE INCIDENT AND THOSE DETAILS BEING BROUGHT BACK HURTS HIM SO THAT'S WHY HE'S REFERRING TO IT WITH PRONOUNS
> 
> I REALLY WANNA TRY SLOWLY BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP INSTEAD OF JUST JUMPING INTO IT, AND THE REVEAL OF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED WILL HAPPEN IN DUE TIME!! IDK HOW TO PACE THAT WELL BUT I'M TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD SO PLS BE PATIENT THANKS! I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THE PRONOUN GAME, BUT YOU CAN PROBS GUESS IT IT'S PRETTY CLICHE


	3. the beginning of something new

⠀⠀The tension in the air was suffocating as they signed the paper that would allow the band become a reality. If the middle-aged desk lady that took their paper was aware of the tense atmosphere, she clearly showed no sign of it as she cheerfully said, "Congratulations, Hyungseo and Junyoung! I wish your band the best!"

⠀⠀Kevin cringed at the sound of his Korean name—he had never gotten used to people addressing him like that because the only person who ever referred to him by his Korean name was his grandfather—but he nodded his head gratefully. "Tha—"

⠀⠀"Thank you so much, Mrs. Lee!" Jacob said cheerfully. Said lady proceeded to laugh.

⠀⠀"Oh, you're such a dear, Junyoung. Great to see you again! Tell Sangyeon his mother says hi," she said warmly. Jacob nodded dutifully.

⠀⠀"Will do!"

⠀⠀Kevin wouldn't say he despised how he was seemingly the only one in the entire world that had any sort of animosity towards Jacob, but he  _despised_ it. Even when they were little, the teachers never called Jacob anything but things along on the lines of  _sweet, angel, and adorable_. It was ridiculous, as seen as the exchange between the desk lady and Jacob continued for a few more moments before him, Mrs. Lee going on to tell Jacob about some gossip at her church like Jacob was her own son, and Jacob was simply nodding intently as she went along. He hated it.

⠀⠀He began grabbing his things from a nearby chair and walking out the door before Jacob even finished. Jacob must've heard him leaving, however, because the other hurriedly finished his conversation before rushing to catch up with him. Kevin had half of a mind to break into a dead sprint to get away, then sighed as he decided against it. There were two reasons why: first, it was  _his_ band that would be at a lost so he wouldn't put himself at a disadvantage by starting a wild chase, and secondly, he remembered Jacob was also a star athlete on top of being an honors student and widely liked amongst their entire middle school. There was no point when Jacob could easily outrun him.

⠀⠀"You could've waited for me," Jacob said after he had caught up, frowning. "We're doing this band thing together, after all. . ."

⠀⠀Kevin didn't want to acknowledge Jacob being right, nor outright tell the other why he didn't like him, so he decided staying silent was the best option.

⠀⠀"Y'know, we have to talk to make this work, Kevin," Jacob tried again, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Kevin offered no response. "Come on, work with me here—"

⠀⠀"I am. I'm letting you come to my house so we can practice. We're working together."

⠀⠀Jacob frowned. "That's not what I meant, you know that. Can't we just. . . get along? Like we used to?" he asked, almost pleadingly. Kevin pretended to ponder the suggestion, but he already knew the answer to Jacob's question.

⠀⠀"No."

⠀⠀He couldn't help the smug feeling that overcame him as he heard Jacob grumbling about something under his breath, but it only lasted until they both fell into silence. It was a few minutes of it until Kevin couldn't stand it anymore, even if Jacob was the only person he could talk to at the moment, who was arguably worse than the unbearable quiet. Kevin hiked up his bag, then asked the boy next to him, "Can you dance well?"

⠀⠀"Hm?" Jacob hummed, seeming confused by the sudden question but happy that he had gotten a reply out of Kevin. "Pretty well, yeah. Why?"

⠀⠀"I was kinda wanting to do a dance performance too. One of my friends made a choreography and he wanted to perform it with me but he had other commitments." Kevin inwardly sighed at the memory of Changmin suddenly telling him he couldn't perform due to a huge piano competition he needed to prepare for.  _It would've been so awesome if he and I could do it_ , he thought internally. "You, uh. . . you up for it?" he asked awkwardly.

⠀⠀There was a pause. Kevin almost didn't want Jacob to answer—he felt it would only make the atmosphere more awkward—but lo and behold, Jacob responded, "Yeah, sounds fun!" with a happy smile. Kevin bit his lip and turned away.

⠀⠀"Okay. Cool," Kevin mumbled, training his eyes on the floor. Jacob's smile hadn't ceased to make him feel things he wish he didn't, and he hated it to no end.  _How am I going to be able to work with him for these next couple of months if I can't even look him in the eye?_

⠀⠀They lapsed into silence again, and this time, it didn't end until they reached Kevin's house. Mumbling a quiet, "Excuse me," Kevin shoved by Jacob to unlock the door with a passcode.

⠀⠀"Take your shoes off," Kevin said over his shoulder as he walked in despite fully knowing Jacob already knew to do so. "Mom, I'm home!" he yelled in the vague direction of the living room where his mom most likely was. He could hear Jacob humming a pleasant melody as he followed him in.

⠀⠀"Kevin! I made pancakes for you—" his mother walked into the hallway to greet him with her usual cheery voice, only to be cut short as she saw the newcomer in her house. Instantly, her smile grew wider, if that was even possible. "No way. . . is that a certain Jacob Bae?" she asked teasingly. Jacob grinned brightly and inclined his head in an informal bow.

⠀⠀"Hello, Mrs. Moon," he said kindly. "It's lovely to see you again."

⠀⠀"Jacob, I haven't seen you since. . . what was it, Kevin?"

⠀⠀The mentioned boy fought the urge to roll his eyes. He never had the courage to tell his mother about what happened between him and Jacob, because it would require coming out to her and he couldn't find the nerve to do so after Jacob's initial reaction. Though he knew it was completely his fault his mother was oblivious to the nature of his and Jacob's strained relationship, he couldn't help but feel bitter about it all. Kevin turned away and threw his backpack into a corner, watching it slide for a second before replying without facing her, "Seventh grade, Mom."

⠀⠀"Right!" He could hear the excitement in his mother's voice, then proceeded to sigh. Jacob, once again, had another person in his grasp. Even his  _mother_ of all people had fallen victim to Jacob's charm. "Come here and give me a hug!" she cheered. There was an quiet  _oomph_ , signifying Jacob had been swept up into one of his mother's bone-crushing hugs.

⠀⠀Another sigh. "Mom, let him go. We need to practice upstairs," he said offhandedly, already making his way to the stairs of the house. He paused when he heard Jacob laughing gently, turning his head to see his mother pulling Jacob towards the kitchen while excitedly chattering about something. Kevin had the urge to swear, but resolved to only groaning and slowly trudging into the kitchen after them.

⠀⠀By the time he got himself into the kitchen, Kevin found his mom serving Jacob a small stack of pancakes and a glass of water on the island. He slid into a stool two down from Jacob's, mumbling a quiet "thank you" when his mom served him a stack as well before pulling out his phone to scroll through Instagram.

⠀⠀"So, Jacob, what have you been up to since we last saw you? Bet you're doing great things like getting honor roll and playing sports, right, Kevin?" his mother said kindly, pushing Kevin's forehead, snapping his head back fast enough for there to be a painful crack in the back of his neck. Kevin groaned in pain and turned to glare at his mom, only to find her staring pointedly at him with a smile that didn't reach her eyes on her face. It was better not to fight her on this now, he decided, frowning when he saw Jacob repressing a wide grin from his peripheral.

⠀⠀"Yep, totally, great things," he muttered resignedly. Jacob began to laugh lightly from his statement, and Kevin wanted to punch him for the warm tingly feeling he was feeling in his chest from it.  _I really can't stand this_.

⠀⠀"It sounds embarrassing when someone else says it, Mrs. Moon," Jacob said, abashed, as he smiled sheepishly. "I'm not top of the class anymore, but I get good grades and I'm co-captain of the basketball team," he explained, laughing as Kevin's mom cooed. Kevin himself was ready to lock himself in his room and forget the day ever happened.

⠀⠀Kevin wasn't sure how long his mother and Jacob talked for, but it felt like he had been there for seven decades, just sitting there and listening to their conversation in boredom while eating through his pancakes. The more and more he listened to it, he realized that Jacob really hadn't changed from the seventh grade; he was as perfect now as he was then, and Kevin hated it.

⠀⠀That was the least of his current problems, though. There was an immediate need for practice, and Kevin decided it was about time to fulfill it. However, he felt he should be using a cane or walker after he got down from the island stool, wincing at the massive cracking sound he heard from his back after stretching. "Alright, Mom, thanks for lunch. Jacob and I gotta go practice now," Kevin said with a low groan.

⠀⠀"Kev, let Jacob stay!" his mother insisted, holding onto Jacob's arm. "Oh, it's so fun talking to him again after so long. Feels like seeing my son for the first time in years," she laughed, ruffling a brightly smiling Jacob's messy brown hair. Kevin's jaw dropped, eyes wide. How could his  _own mother_ betray him like this? Another bullet point was added to his  _Why Jacob Bae sucks_ list.

⠀⠀"Well, your  _actual son_ needs him at the moment, so he's coming with me," Kevin then said firmly after a brief moment of hurt. He couldn't expect his mother to know why he was acting like this towards Jacob, but it still sent a twinge if pain up his body, like he almost  _expected_ his mom to do so anyways. Grabbing Jacob by the wrist and leading him up the stairs, he curtly said  _see ya_  to his mom. He heard Jacob cheerily bid goodbye to his mother as well, and he fought the urge to roll his eyes. Jacob really hadn't changed in the slightest over four years.

⠀⠀Kevin led Jacob to a room, where a standing piano, acoustic guitar, and drum set stood. There was also a couple floor-to-ceiling mirrors against the back wall and room to dance in front of it, as well as a desk in the corner with several pens, pencils, and markers strewn messily on it and several of his drawings pinned to the wall. Even back in Canada, Kevin had had a room just like the one they were currently standing in. This room was his favorite (besides his own bedroom, of course), and he always enjoyed coming to de-stress on the piano or writing songs. Kevin was starting to space out, thinking about all of the fun memories he had in the room before Jacob snapped him out of it.

⠀⠀"You could've just asked me to go up," Jacob said as he took the guitar from its stand and sitting down on a chair, slowly plucking a simple tune. He continued to play for a little bit longer before stopping and looking up at Kevin, a somewhat sad expression on his face. ". . . I'm sorry if talking to your mom bothered you, and for wasting time," he said softly. Kevin found the irritation he was focusing on Jacob fading away, only leaving a dull sense of guilt for being the cause of Jacob's morose tone of voice. He only sighed before waving it off.

⠀⠀"Stop doing that, you're making me feel bad," Kevin grumbled. "It's fine. . . let's just start practicing."

⠀⠀"Oh, okay."

⠀⠀The tension in the room was thicker than butter as Kevin took a seat next to Jacob, pulling his phone out as he did so. As he opened YouTube to show what he planned to do for the talent show, Jacob suddenly asked, "Kevin? Can we talk?"

⠀⠀Kevin looked up from his phone to look at Jacob, an eyebrow raised. He didn't like the way this conversation was going, and he intended to derail it as soon as possible, but he wasn't quite sure on how to do it without being mean to the other boy (with the single exception of their meeting the day before). He might've not like Jacob, but he disliked feeling like a shitty person more, after all. "About this? Sure," he eventually decided on, averting his eyes back to his phone screen after seeing a flash of hurt go across Jacob's face.

⠀⠀"About. . . about what I said back in—"

⠀⠀"No."

⠀⠀"Come on, Kevin. Can you let me explain?" Jacob very nearly begged, surprising Kevin. There was a tiny, tiny part of him that wanted to see what Jacob had to say in response to his actions four years ago. Once upon a time, they had been so close, and Kevin wanted to know why Jacob could've reacted the way he did to such a close friend. A sudden pain in his chest, however, reminded him that the rest of him wasn't interested. It was too soon.

⠀⠀Kevin sighed. "I'm just, uh. . . not ready to talk about it with you. And I don't know if I ever will," he confessed, a trace of a deep bitterness in his voice. He looked up to Jacob and found said boy seeming dejected with a downcast face and his hands loosely hovering over the strings of the guitar. He couldn't imagine what the other could possibly be looking so sad about when  _he_ was the hurt one, but it still pained him to see Jacob like that nonetheless. It was time to do something else.  "Can we just. . ." Kevin waved his hand around vaguely to refer to all of the instruments around them, "focus on this?" He thought about it for another second, then added on as a a bit of a desperate afterthought, "Please?" 

⠀⠀"Okay. I'm sorry," Jacob mumbled, rubbing his nape and averting his eyes to the floor. Kevin stared at him for a second, a million thoughts running through his head before he groaned. He hated seeing Jacob sad, which was strange because he thought he hated Jacob with a fiery passion before he had unexpectedly seen the other in the band room.

⠀⠀"Stop saying sorry for everything. You're making me feel like a mega-asshole," Kevin said, a bit frustrated. Jacob looked up at him with big eyes, seeming a bit in shock.

⠀⠀"Oh, uh, I'm sorry—"

⠀⠀Kevin threw his hands up in the air. "There it is again! What did I just say?" he asked, exasperated. Jacob froze, his cheeks and ears gradually turning a faint shade of pink, and it took every ounce of Kevin's energy to calm his racing heart down. Nothing had changed since the seventh grade, it appeared, even his feelings, unbeknownst to him.

⠀⠀"I'm sor—" Jacob seemed to catch himself at the last moment, laughing nervously once he did. "Yeah. . . I'm not good at this, am I?" he asked softly, putting on a sheepish smile.

⠀⠀Kevin rolled his eyes. "When have you ever been? Someone could stab you, and you'd say sorry for getting blood on their clothes," he retorted. Jacob laughed again, more carefree this time, nodding in agreement.

⠀⠀Briefly, Jacob stared at him quietly with curious eyes, almost seeming to analyze the current situation. A small, concentrating frown grew on his face, before melting away to a small and sweet grin almost immediately thereafter.

⠀⠀"Do you remember back in, like, sixth grade when Ruby kept asking me to the junior high dance and I kept saying sorry instead of no and she slapped me because she  _'hated nice guys anyways'_?" Jacob asked, putting air quotations around the phrase. Kevin raised a brow, intrigued at the sudden recalling. He vaguely remembered of such a thing happening, but he never got the full details of  _who_ had hit  _who_. Suddenly, all the bitterness he held towards Jacob was briefly carried away by an onslaught of elementary memories.

⠀⠀"Wait, that was  _you_?!" Kevin asked incredulously. He could vaguely remember the fiery, pretty blonde girl who was known to hop from guy to guy in a matter of weeks. "I heard that you said yes!"

⠀⠀"To Ruby?!" Jacob asked, equally in shock with wide eyes. "Kevin, she was dating Chris at the time, remember? He would've ripped me to shreds! He was all like  _blehh_." The other boy flexed his arms and put on a tough face, causing Kevin to laugh. Jacob's impression was quite accurate—the aforementioned Chris had been surprisingly hulking for a sixth grader in comparison to Jacob, yet had little else but meat in the head. At the sight of him laughing, Jacob relaxed his body and joined in. "See? Knew I could make you chill out," he said cheerfully.

⠀⠀To that, Kevin's careless grin faltered as he considered what had just happened. He had just been swept up so easily in Jacob's inviting voice, and he now forced himself to shake off the easy smile from his face. No, he  _hated_ Jacob, and this was one reason why: Jacob so easily made him forget what he had done and why Kevin was acting the way he was towards him. It made  _him_ feel like the bad guy when only Jacob was in the wrong. Yet, when he looked at Jacob, he could only see what seemed to be genuine warmth and mirth in his eyes and smile, and feel nothing but butterflies in the deepest pit of his stomach. Kevin chewed on his bottom lip and turned away to aimlessly gaze anywhere else but towards Jacob.

⠀⠀It was too much right now.

⠀⠀"Let's practice," Kevin said curtly, suddenly not trusting his own voice. He could hear Jacob begin to say something, stopping soon after, like the words had died in his throat. It was silent once more.


	4. homecoming

⠀⠀Kevin swatted away Eric's hovering hand, eyes unfocused as he stared at nothing in particular. It was hard for him to think about anything much at all at the moment, and even the chatter in the noisy cafeteria couldn't break his dazed spell.

⠀⠀Vaguely, Kevin could see Changmin and Hyunjoon come to their table from his peripheral, the two greeting Eric before doing the same to him. He offered nothing more than a wave, not sparing them a glance. How was he going to last the three months to the talent competition if he worked with Jacob? Their history would surely cause too much friction between them, evident in the couple of days previous.  _Maybe I should just call it off now,_ he thought worriedly. He was sure he'd go insane with Jacob by him before the talent competition actually arrived.

⠀⠀There was a tap on his shoulder, snapping Kevin from his thoughts before he turned to face his offender. Per usual, Ji Changmin held an easy, lopsided smile and his dimple prominently showing. It was enough to bring anyone out of a bad mood, and Kevin was no exception, the nerve-wracking thoughts of Jacob being pushed away for the first time in awhile.

⠀Kevin tilted his head curiously, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, did you say something?" he asked. Changmin only rolled his eyes, then turned to Hyunjoon.

⠀⠀"Yeah, he's totally out of it," he sighed theatrically. Turning back to face Kevin, Changmin explained again with a small pout, "You kept asking me and Hyunjoon to make a choreography to a Beyoncé song, and we finally got together to do it. I'd thought you'd be happier about it."

⠀⠀Kevin raised a brow. True, he had been doing exactly that during a random week where he had been listening to the  _Lemonade_  album on repeat for no reason, but he hadn't expected for Changmin and Hyunjoon to succumb to his demands that even  _he_ forgot. Surprised, Kevin said, "Did you actually? I was joking."

⠀⠀Changmin gave him a sly smile and pounded his chest with a fist. "Ji Changmin is a man of honor, my dear Kevin," he said dramatically, then began to laugh at the silliness of his own actions. Grabbing onto the quiet Hyunjoon's arm, he added cheerily, "Hyunjoonie and I can show it to if you want at the studio."

⠀⠀"What happened to the piano showcase you blew me off for, though? Hm?" Kevin asked accusingly. If Changmin hadn't done that, he wouldn't have to work with Jacob, after all. Changmin only gave him a look, though, and waved his comment off.

⠀⠀"You can't expect me to be practicing my sonatas all the time. A guy's gotta have fun sometimes," Changmin reasoned with a roll of his eyes. Leaning forward towards Kevin, he tilted his head curiously and asked, "So, did anyone ever sign up?"

⠀⠀Kevin heavily sighed at the reminder, rolling around the rice in his plate with his spoon. "Yeah. Jacob. Bae Junyoung," he murmured. Even saying the name felt like it was sucking the energy out of him. "You guys know him?"

⠀⠀Perking up suddenly, Hyunjoon asked, "Oh, Junyoung-hyung?" A tiny smile came over his small face. "That's really good for you. Junyoung-hyung is really kind and talented. Very selfless too. He's awesome," he said with a laugh. Kevin's eyes rolled automatically, like it was just a reflex now. Why should he be surprised anymore when he found others smitten by Jacob at this point?

⠀⠀"What?" Eric suddenly said through a mouthful of food, surprised. After being admonished by Changmin for doing so, he swallowed and immediately huffed, "That's impossible. Jacob is this huge jerk that did some  _really_ bad stuff to Kevin-hyung!"

⠀⠀Curiously, Hyunjoon tilted his head. "Hm? Like what?" he asked, casting a worried glance to Kevin himself.

⠀⠀Eric opened his mouth to reply heatedly, only for a pained whine to come out instead, courtesy of a strong pinch to the side by Kevin. He turned to protest but was immediately silenced by a firm shake of the head from the older and a glare. Eric turned back to Hyunjoon, the fire in him dampened.

⠀⠀"Ah, never mind. . . I don't think it's, uh, my story to tell."

⠀⠀Changmin leaned forward, interested, and asked, "You knew Jacob before?" Before Kevin could reply, Changmin continued teasingly with, "What happened? Maybe he stole your girl?"

⠀⠀"No, he didn't steal my girl," Kevin sighed, though his face burned from the mere absurdity of the accusation itself. Even though he knew Changmin was only joking, the other's words aggravated him, only serving to redden his face further. Running a hand through his hair tiredly, he said, "We, uh. . . we went to school together in Canada. Some stuff just happened between us, I guess."

⠀⠀Seeming to realize the topic of Jacob was actually a sore one, Changmin relented immediately. "I'm sorry, Kevin. I was just joking. I didn't know it made you uncomfortable," Changmin apologized, his face suddenly a mixture of sadness and embarrassment. Kevin nodded in acknowledgement, shrugging.

⠀⠀Hyunjoon frowned, then shrugged. "Well. . . he's a good person to me, and I think you're lucky to have him in your band," he said honestly, munching on some chips. "He's treating you okay now, though, right?"

⠀⠀Kevin thought about it for a couple seconds.

⠀⠀"You could say that."

* * *

 

⠀⠀" _So, please don't, please don't, please don't_ —"

⠀⠀"Hold up!" Kevin stopped playing the keyboard to turn to Jacob with a frown. "Jacob, again? Can you not hit the note?" he asked a bit sourly. Jacob sighed, holding tightly onto the neck of his guitar.

⠀⠀"I'm just not that comfortable belting," he said tiredly, seemingly avoiding Kevin's hard gaze on purpose to pick at his nails. "I do falsetto if I ever have to hit anything high, but you said you didn't want me to do that."

⠀⠀Kevin grit his teeth but only groaned and ran a hand through his hair, spinning in his seat to face his piano again. He leaned forward to scribble something off of his notebook. "Alright, we're not doing  _I'm Yours_ then," he said resignedly.

⠀⠀It was the afternoon after, and Kevin had practically flown up the stairs to the recreation room with Jacob in hand to practice after he had gotten home. They had been choosing songs they wanted to perform and practicing relentlessly—maybe  _too_ relentlessly, considering how much time they had until the actual competition. Perhaps Kevin was stressing the whole thing too much, but he was anxious to finish practicing with Jacob as soon as possible and get him out of the way, as well as winning the competition. He was starting to think those two things didn't go quite hand in hand.

⠀⠀"We have the other songs, though," Jacob pointed out, seeing the frustration on Kevin's face. He then frowned sadly. "Did you really want to do that song? We could modulate the song maybe a key lower," he suggested. Kevin thought about it for a second, then shook his head.

⠀⠀"It was gonna connect straight to  _Just The Way You Are_ , which I'd have to figure out the notes for. If we change the key, then it's just gonna sound weird." Kevin looked at Jacob over his shoulder, who seemed decidedly sorry. "It's fine, don't worry about it," Kevin assured, though his voice sounded more tired harsher than he meant for it to be. He immediately apologized for it, causing Jacob to shrug.

⠀⠀"Kevin," Jacob said, exhaustion showing in his voice as he put his guitar down onto the table, "We've been at this for, like, close to four hours. Let's take a break, okay?"

⠀⠀Anxiously, Kevin began to play with his hands. "But, we barely have anything figured out and the competition is—"

⠀⠀"The competition is literally a whole month away. We don't have to get this done all at once. This is a little much, Kevin," Jacob coaxed in such a way that was insistent yet gentle. Kevin's body seemed to relax immediately at the suggestion, as if it was only waiting for the command to do so.

⠀⠀And as usual, Jacob was probably right. They had only stopped for water and bathroom breaks since they started. There was no room for small talk—only conversation about song selection and vocal technique, then singing over and over again. If Kevin weren't so adamant about practicing, he surely would've thought it was excessive like Jacob did.

⠀⠀Something struck Kevin suddenly. ". . .We still have to do homework, don't we," Kevin said quietly as if his volume would fend away the hated pieces of paper. Jacob began to laugh, nodding.

⠀⠀"You owe me if I can't finish all of my homework, okay?" the older joked, smiling widely as he stood up.

⠀⠀ _Ba-dum._ "I'm broke, no can do."

⠀⠀Jacob pulled Kevin up onto his feet with surprising strength, still beaming. "Well, I'm not doing homework on an empty stomach. I'll treat you to some barbecue, yeah?" he said cheerfully as he began pulling Kevin out of the recreation room and down the stairs.

⠀⠀As he was dragged along, Kevin protested, "Jacob, stop. I'm not even hungry." As if on cue, his stomach rumbled to say  _hah, you thought_.

⠀⠀"Hm? Sounds like you are."

⠀⠀Kevin forced Jacob to a stop on the stairs, pushing him against the wall. "Jacob," he whispered quietly, in fear that his mother would hear him downstairs in the living room, "I'm gonna be real with you. I really don't know if I'd be comfortable having a meal with you."

⠀⠀There was a flash of hurt that went across Jacob's face. He let go of Kevin.

⠀⠀"What?" Jacob asked, sounding utterly dismayed. Kevin felt his chest twinge with pain, which was annoying because he knew damn well he had a right to say this and to feel this way.

⠀⠀"Jacob, you remember as well as I do what happened between us. I don't care  _how_ much you say you changed—if we changed places, what would you do if I asked to eat with me like nothing happened?" Kevin asked somewhat gently. Jacob stared at him sadly before heaving a great sigh.

⠀⠀"Say no," he eventually muttered, though it sounded like he wished he could say something else. Kevin watched as Jacob lightly pushed him away and made his way down the stairs without another word.

⠀⠀Kevin waited there on the staircase, motionless and silent. He heard Jacob briefly thank his mom for letting him stay over before shutting the door. He then shut his eyes and groaned softly, gripping his chest through his sweatshirt. Why did it hurt the way it did?

⠀⠀Eventually, Kevin came down the stairs to sit in the living room, turning the TV on. His mother was busying herself by washing dishes in the kitchen, but eventually asked, "What's wrong with Jacob?"  
⠀⠀  
⠀⠀Kevin froze in his seat. Was his mother always this perceptive? "As far as I know, nothing," he replied, struggling to keep his voice even. "Why do you say that?"

⠀⠀"I'm a mom, Kevin," she said with a roll of her eyes. "I know when something's off with people, and I know Jacob pretty well. You two used to play at our house all the time back in Canada, remember?" His mom wiped her hands on a towel, then came over to sit next to him. Placing her hand over his, she said gently, "I know it's been a while since you've seen him, but be good to Jacob, okay? He's a good kid, and you guys have been friends since the second grade. Remember that."

⠀⠀Kevin fought back the urge to retort,  _He didn't seem to be my friend when he said that_ , and only nodded. "Okay, mom."

⠀⠀Their front door was opened, then shut with a bang. Soon, his mom was running to the new figure in the room, embracing her in a tight hug as the girl dropped her luggage to the floor.

⠀⠀"Stella!" his mom cheered. "I'm so happy you came to visit! How's UBC, sweetie?"

⠀⠀The girl smiled and hugged the woman back tightly. "It's good, Mom. And it's no problem," she replied gently. Stella's head whipped to face Kevin, who was still sitting on the couch, and the smile melted off of her face. "Excuse me, Mom. I have something to discuss with my dear brother there," she murmured before making her way to the boy in question.

⠀⠀Nervously, Kevin stood up and waved. His sister came to visit every once in a couple of months, but he had a feeling that this time wasn't going to be good for his health. "Hey, sis. . . How's the homeland—ow, ow, ow!" Kevin whined with pain as Stella grabbed him by the ear (grabbing all three of his piercings, actually, which was another source of pain), the girl beginning to pull him back up the stairs.

⠀⠀"You and I have some serious shit to talk about, little bro," she growled threateningly. Kevin couldn't help but feel he was in some deep shit, but he couldn't figure out what for.

⠀⠀"Okay, well, I have legs and I can walk by myself!" Kevin ripped her hand off of his ear before rubbing it. "Jeez, you don't have to drag me like I'm a kid, Stel." His sister only huffed in response, dragging him to his room before slamming the door closed.

⠀⠀All of a sudden, Kevin was spun around and pushed onto his bed with a yelp, his older sister standing menacingly above him with her hands on her hips. Kevin couldn't help the gulping sound he made, like he was a goldfish out of its tank.

⠀⠀"Why did I see Jacob—motherfucking—Bae walking from the house?" Stella seethed, pointing at the street. Kevin craned his neck to see what she was pointing out, despite knowing fully well Jacob was long gone by now. He turned to look back at Stella and shrugged, fidgeting with his fingers absentmindedly.

⠀⠀"We made a band," he mumbled. "We're gonna compete in the talent competition in a month—"

⠀⠀"Kevin!" Stella suddenly snapped, aggravated. She gesticulated around wildly. "Don't you remember what he did to you? What he  _said_ to you? I can't believe you're putting up with this!" She gestured to Kevin himself, continuing, " _You_ of all people! You complained when I borrowed some of your fancy markers or whatever to do my art project—"

⠀⠀"Sis, you were gonna steal my Copic markers! Those are expensive as hell! Don't even lie to me!"

⠀⠀"Wow, now you're calling me a liar?! After all I've done for you—!"

⠀⠀"What have you ever done for me, Stella? I was sitting my butt down in Canada and doing work while—"

⠀⠀Stella flicked him in the forehead, sighing frustratedly, "Whatever, that's not that point. My point is that I'm not gonna let the asshole that broke my little brother's heart just waltz back into his life like nothing ever happened!"

⠀⠀As he heard his sister vehemently rant about "how could you let this happen" and "if I weren't at college, I would've handed his ass to him myself," Kevin felt a sudden flame of anger spark in his chest. He couldn't tell if it was aimed towards Jacob or his sister for accusing Jacob, strangely enough. What Stella had said was certainly true, and yet. . .

⠀⠀"Sis, it's fine, seriously," Kevin mumbled quietly, uncomfortable with the conclusion that had suddenly risen in his brain. Stella glared at him for a few moments for interrupting her angry speech, before her face slowly morphed into one of pure shock.

⠀⠀"No way. . ." she murmured. Stella then pointed accusingly at him. "You  _still_  like that asshole, don't you, Kevin!"

⠀⠀It was like a slap to the face to hear it aloud. He visibly winced once he heard the words come out of his sister's mouth, and he wanted nothing more in the moment than to curl into a ball under his comforter until the whole thing blew over. He watched as his sister stammered furious words out before taking a deep breath to calm her seething anger and taking a seat next to him, his heart pounding uncomfortably as she put an arm around him and pulled him to her side.

⠀⠀There was a brief quiet before, "You know I'm mad at you for saying that, right?"

⠀⠀"No, really?" Kevin snorted sarcastically, looking away. "I didn't say anything. "You jump to conclusions per usual. I'd never like him ever again," he huffed, though even he thought his voice sounded tight and strained. Stella lightly whacked him in the back of the head, causing him to whine in pain a bit.

⠀⠀"Kev, I watched you grow up," she began after another second of silence, sounding exasperated as she sighed deeply . "I watched you doodle for hours about your dreams, took you home from dance class every Wednesday and Friday with Mom, sang with you in choir for Sunday Mass and all that."

⠀⠀"I remember one time when I was like, six, I was doing tap and slipped and fell on my ass pretty hard," Kevin said wryly, glancing at the girl next to him and nudging her with his shoulder. "You laughed at me while I cried."

⠀⠀Stella raises her hands in surrender, smiling a little bit. "Hey, that's what older siblings do," she protested. "I'm sure Jeff did that when Jacob was your age too." She put her hands down and then sat quietly for a moment. Then she put a hand on Kevin's shoulder and said, "I'm just mad because I know you deserve so much better than Jacob Bae, and I know you've been hiding that part of yourself away ever since seventh grade," she said gently. Stella pat him as he bit his lip, seeming to contemplate as she did so. She continued, "You might've loved him, Kev, but after what he did, he doesn't deserve what you have to offer. It's unreasonable to keep loving him even if he hurt you. You cut him off for a reason."

⠀⠀Kevin mulled over her words, then looked at her, unconvinced. He shrugged her hand off of his shoulder and stared at his drawings he had pinned on the wall, watching the evolution of his artistry over the years before saying tiredly, "You don't think I know that?"

⠀⠀Stella looked at him, confused. "That you deserve better?"

⠀⠀He shook his head. "No, that it's not reasonable." Kevin flopped back on his bed, staring at the ceiling with his hands folded over his stomach. He sighed, "I know that it's stupid of me to still love him after what he did, and that I should be hating his guts with every inch of my being. And I thought I was finally thinking that way and getting rid of all of the memories we had together until. . ."

⠀⠀"You saw him again?" Stella finished for him, staring at him with what seemed a look of pity. He hated it, but nodded anyways.

⠀⠀"Yeah. All the feelings hit me again like they never left. It was awful, and I had to call Eric after the audition to destress."

⠀⠀Kevin knew his sister had no answer for him, but took comfort in the fact that she pulled him closer, as if that was her way of showing her solidarity with him. He leaned his head against her shoulder (even though it was a bit uncomfortable because he was significantly taller than her), and he closed his eyes as his chest began to ache, a sudden urge to cry rising in him. "I just wish these feelings would just go away, you know? I hate it how he still has that much power over me four years later, even if he doesn't mean to. It's so fucking annoying," he complained loudly in a choked voice, burying his face into his hands. It was hard to hear his problems aloud, and he couldn't help the lone tear that rolled down his face as images popped into his head. He really thought he had finally beaten Jacob until Jacob decided to waltz back into his life and it infuriated him like no other thing ever had.

⠀⠀"You wanna know something weird that happened?" Stella asked softly, running her hands through Kevin's black hair like she used to do when they were much younger to sooth his nerves. When Kevin sniffed and shook his head, she said, "Jeff texted me the other day. He was in town for the next couple of weeks for a shoot and wanted to meet up, even though we hadn't talked in four years."

⠀⠀Kevin furrowed his brows together in confusion. That didn't seem part of the older Bae's character. While Jeff was typically as smiley and positive as his younger brother, he was notorious for long grudges. "Didn't you guys get into a fight?" he asked weakly, dimly remembering his sister holing herself in her room and spending most of the evening screaming. He had never learned what had angered her so much though, only being told that her and Jeff had fought. His sister nodded.

⠀⠀"Yeah. He called me to say that he was leaving the country. From the airport." Stella laughed as Kevin winced, sucking in air through his teeth. She shrugged and continued with, "We were pretty good friends because of you two being together so much so I basically yelled at him saying that I hated him for deserting us, that he was a dick and selfish and that he should never come back. He yelled back that I didn't get what was happening and that I was being crazy and jumping to conclusions like always."

⠀⠀"I mean, you  _do_ do that a lot," Kevin reasoned. He yelped as Stella smacked him in the stomach.

⠀⠀"I don't need to be reminded, thank you," she said curtly. "Anyways, we were both angry at each other and it ended with, like, us both screaming  _fine_ at each other. In retrospect it was kinda funny, but still, you can imagine the shock I got when I got a text from him."

⠀⠀Kevin frowned. He pointed at his sister's phone that was sticking out of her back pocket. "What'd he say?" he asked. Stella pulled her phone out and unlocked it, tapping the texting app before handing it to Kevin, who took it somewhat eagerly.

   


> **jjbae**  
>  Hey is this still Stella Moon's #
> 
>   
>  **stellamoony**  
>  Yes it is? Can I help you with something? I don't have your number saved.
> 
>   
>  **jjbae**  
>  Oh cool I got it right then. Hey, it's been a while. It's Jeff Bae, Jacob's older brother? Used to hang out all the time?
> 
>   
>  **stellamoony**  
>  ...Jeff, it's been four years and we didn't exactly leave it on good terms, as I'm sure you're aware of
> 
>   
>  **jjbae**  
>  oh lol yeah ik but I was thinking... I'm a photographer now in uni and I'm coming back to Canada for a little bit so is it possible we could meet up or smth
> 
>   
>  **jjbae**  
>  It doesn't have to be fancy or anything we can just go to tim hortons and chill
> 
>   
>  **stellamoony**  
>  Can I get a reason first? I know you, Jeff, and you're not the type to just extend an olive branch this easily. And don't think I've forgotten what Jacob did to Kevin when they were younger.
> 
>   
>  **jjbae**  
>  I really want to meet you irl though, and I feel like it would be better if I explain stuff that way instead of over text. It's a lot and i think you and Kev deserve apologies. I think it's spring break at UBC so are you free then? I'll be here for a couple of weeks for my next job
> 
>   
>  **stellamoony**  
>  I'm going to Korea to visit my parents and Kevin for break. If you're available after that and you're still in the country, we can meet up. You're paying though.
> 
>   
>  **jjbae**  
>  Ok I will don't worry your little head about it. I'll see you maybe next weekend then?
> 
>   
>  **stellamoony**  
>  Yep. Bye Jeff
> 
>   
>  **jjbae**    
>  see ya

⠀⠀Kevin blinked in confusion. What could've been so important that Jeff would've reached out to his older sister after four years of silent animosity? Why did Jeff feel they deserved apologies, and what did he want to explain? He tentatively gave the phone back to his sister and asked, "Any idea what he wants?"

⠀⠀She shrugged hopelessly, stuffing the phone back into her pockets. "Absolutely none. I'm gonna go to the meetup thing though and tell you everything. Sounds like it concerns you," she said simply. Stella slung an arm around his shoulder and said, "Hey, all I'm saying is that Jacob Bae better watch his back if he doesn't wanna taste my rage, you feel?

⠀⠀Kevin sighed. "Yeah." He remembered Jacob's wounded face every time he refused to talk about what had happened and frowned. Admitting the reason why his heart would clench so uncomfortably made the pain a bit easier to handle, but he didn't know what to do about the situation itself. Stella noticed this and pat him on the back.

⠀⠀"You want me to hang around when you guys are practicing? Maybe do some supervising, glare some holes into Jacob's soul while I'm at it?" she suggested. Kevin couldn't tell if she was serious or not about her admittedly creepy proposal and shook his head. His sister could be quite wise, even if he called her stupid most days, but what she suggested was. . .

⠀⠀"I'd rather you not, no offense, sis."

⠀⠀Stella shrugged. "Alright. Well, if he comes over tomorrow and you need refuge or a baseball bat, I got you covered," she offered with a teasing smile. She suddenly paused in her actions completely and looked towards the door.

⠀⠀"What's up?" Kevin asked, frowning at Stella's sudden mood change.

⠀⠀"I think Mom is making her lasagna," she whispered, her voice suddenly deadly seriously. Kevin's eyes darted to his door as well. Their mother's lasagna was famous for being artery-clogging and absolutely delicious, but it was a rare delicacy. Vivid memories of screaming over the limited slices of yummy lasagna ending in tears and bruises resurfaced in his memory. He and his sister glared at each other simultaneously, wearing identical evil grins.

⠀⠀"Race ya?" he asked.

⠀⠀"It's fucking  _on_ , nerd."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dsjjdsjdj sorry for not posting y'all!! this chapter is about 4.5k words tho so i hope that makes up for it!! thank u for reading and leave a comment lovelies muah


	5. mall dates

⠀⠀"Hey, Kevin! Would it be okay if I talked to you real quick?" Jacob asked cheerfully, a couple of days of constant practice later. Kevin and his group of friends stared at him oddly, Changmin and Chanhee more so because they couldn't understand English. Eric was mean-mugging the newcomer in front of them with every inch of his soul, and while it was funny to see Jacob shrink back a bit by the younger's glare, Kevin could see how uncomfortable Jacob very quickly became. Kevin waved Eric back and sighed, standing up from his bench as Eric protested quietly.

⠀⠀They stepped away from the group. Kevin shoved his hands into his uniform pockets, then tilted his head to the side a bit. "What do you want, Jacob?" he asked tiredly.

⠀⠀Jacob took a deep breath. "I think we should take a break."

⠀⠀Kevin couldn't help the snort that automatically came out of him. "Jeez, you say that like we're dating. Don't be so serious," he said derisively, though his cheeks heated up at the thought of dating the boy in front of him. Jacob flushed red a bit as well before shaking his head.

⠀⠀"From practicing," Jacob clarified a bit awkwardly. "I think some team bonding would be good for our performance and the overall chemistry of it, so I was thinking we go the mall and hang out this afternoon. Maybe going to the arcade, getting some boba, that kind of stuff. You in?" he asked, hands shoved into his pockets in a surprisingly nonchalant manner.  _Jacob's suddenly acting a bit bolder than usual_ , Kevin thought to himself.

⠀⠀Kevin frowned. "Didn't I tell you that I wasn't comfortable having a meal, though?" he asked, though he played with his hands uncomfortably. Jacob rolled his eyes.

⠀⠀"Like boba counts as meal when half of it is sugar," he said with surprising sarcasm. He sighed. "Look, all I'm saying is a day or so of break will do good for you. You've been stressing out over this a lot—"

⠀⠀"Because I wanna win!" Kevin protested. He had all the right to be stressed about putting on a great performance. He finally had some form of a band/performing group he could call his own after weeks of searching (even if it was with the one person he disliked the most), and like  _hell_ he was going to lose because he was unprepared. Jacob waved it off though.

⠀⠀"We  _both_ do," Jacob stressed, "but it won't do us any good if we work ourselves to the bone. To put on a good performance, we need to be physically prepared as well, which includes taking breaks and rests. You haven't been doing much of that over the past couple of days."

⠀⠀"But—"  _I don't wanna work with you any longer than I need to because being around you brings back too many memories_ , Kevin wanted to say, but he bit his tongue. He groaned, irritated that Jacob was right once again. The signs of long hours of practicing and homework and projects into the night was starting to show on his face, which was why he was wearing his glasses instead of his contacts to hide the puffiness of his eyes.

⠀⠀Kevin crosses his arms, sighing. "When?" he relented. He couldn't help the reflexive roll of his eyes, nor the incessant thump of his heart as Jacob beamed brightly at him.  _Damn it._

⠀⠀"After school today. We can meet at the school front and take the bus there. I'll even pay for your fare," Jacob offered helpfully, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He waved at the boy in front of him, then to Hyunjoon who was sitting at the table before walking off.

⠀⠀Kevin was left standing there, watching Jacob leave for the table filled with the popular jocks of the school. He just sighed and returned to his own table, wishing his heart would slow down to reflect his much less excited feelings.

* * *

 

⠀⠀Kevin had half of a mind to just go home after school like he usually did and stand Jacob up, but he decided he wasn't  _that_ much of an asshole and would be eaten up by guilt if he had, even if it was Jacob. So, here he was twenty minutes after school ended, standing at the bottom of the staircase leading to the school entrance and tapping his feet to the music in his earbuds as he waited for the boy in question to go to the mall of all places. Kevin couldn't  _believe_ he had agreed to it in the first place.

⠀⠀"Hey, Kevin!" a sudden voice interrupted his passionate lip-syncing to Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable," causing Kevin to irritably turn around and take out an earbud. At last, Jacob was emerging from the school doors and sliding down some of the hand rails, a happy smile on his face as he made his way to Kevin. The boy in question sighed, but nonetheless took out the other earbud and waved.

⠀⠀"Hey," Kevin replied dully, rolling his earbuds and putting them into his back pocket.

⠀⠀Jacob frowned, a worried tilt in his eyebrows. "I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?" he asked, rubbing his nape. "Sorry, I had to talk to one of my teachers about an assignment," he further apologized, shrugging.

⠀⠀Kevin shook his head. He had hardly noticed the time passing with the help of Beyoncé's god-tier singing so he didn't really care about the other's tardiness. Besides, Jacob apologizing never ceased to make him feel bad. "It's whatever," he said dismissively, hiking up his bag on his shoulder and turning towards the general direction of the nearby bus stop. Over his shoulder, he threw a quick "You wanna go?" to the boy behind him.

⠀⠀Jacob seemed to be spaced out for a second, but immediately snapped out of his daze and vigorously nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go," he affirmed, following quickly behind him.

⠀⠀It was an uncomfortable bus ride to the mall. Jacob attempted to talk to Kevin a few times, but after being ignored for the fifth time, he just sighed and put in his own earbuds to stare out the bus windows. Kevin was just doing his best to keep his interactions with Jacob at a bare minimum, in fear of his feelings would betray him in one way or another (though, if he still had feelings for Jacob despite all of the shit in their history, Kevin wasn't sure how it could get any worse). Blasting his music did little to calm his nervous energy in his stomach, but Kevin was determined to keep his eyes on the street and not on Jacob's soft brown hair, or his pink lips, or his cute nose—damn it.

⠀⠀The bus rolled to a stop, and Kevin and Jacob soon entered a large shopping mall, both with stiff postures and an uncomfortable amount of space between people that were supposed to be hanging out together. Kevin glanced over at Jacob, meeting eyes with the other boy and turning away immediately with a blush. He coughed, then shoved his hands into his pant pockets, fumbling for his phone for something to grip onto.

⠀⠀"So, boba?" Kevin asked. Jacob hummed an affirmation.

⠀⠀"You wanna get fried chicken too?" the other boy asked as they strolled by some stores.

⠀⠀"No meals, I told you," Kevin reminded shortly, letting his eyes wander far away from the Bae boy.

⠀⠀"Well, if we're hanging out, I might as well. It's just a snack anyways—too late for lunch, too early for dinner," Jacob teased, a jovial smile on his face. Kevin spared him a glance, a single brow raised in interest. He eventually shook his head, hiding the small curl of his lips away.

⠀⠀"Buy it for yourself if you want chicken so bad, man."

⠀⠀Jacob shrugged, mumbling something along the lines of, "Fine, maybe I  _will_ ," then let out an excited  _ooh!_  at the sight of something. He tapped on Kevin's shoulder and pointed at something. "Kevin! Look at that!"

⠀⠀As the boy in mention turned to see what had caught Jacob's eye, he saw a brightly lit and colorful pastry shop to their right. White cakes topped with fruits decorated the display window, and Kevin could see customers walking out with boxes of donuts in tow. Truthfully, Kevin had a massive sweet tooth, but he refused to voice his desire for the baked goods aloud. Knowing Jacob right now, Jacob would rush in there and buy the whole store if he said the word.

⠀⠀"C'mon, Kevie—" the mentioned flashed Jacob a glare, causing Jacob to roll his eyes but amend himself reluctantly, "—Kevin. I know you well enough. You know you want something from there."

⠀⠀"Well, I guess you don't know me well enough, Jacob," Kevin huffed, his arms crossed. Jacob looked at him, an eyebrow raised in disbelief as he clearly caught onto Kevin's bullshit. Said bullshitter in question shifted uncomfortably from the weight of the other's stare, so he resolved to turning away from Jacob and the store with a small  _hmph!_

⠀⠀"Nothing?"

⠀⠀"Nope."

⠀⠀There was a sudden pause. Then Jacob spoke again, now with a sly undertone in his voice. "Oh, well, I guess it can't be helped," Jacob sighed dramatically. "I'll just go buy myself some  _macarons_ then we'll go—"

⠀⠀Kevin's head snapped around at the mention of the god-tier dessert, only to meet the twinkling playfulness and mirth in Jacob's eyes. Damn, he had been caught. He scowled as Jacob laughed at him, cheeks burning red in embarrassment and from seeing Jacob's wide, angelic smile. "Shut up, I didn't say anything," he muttered.

⠀⠀"You didn't have to." Jacob beamed brightly, his head tilted to the side a bit. "I just know you a little too well for your ploy to work."

⠀⠀ _Ba-dum. Ba-dum_. Kevin's heart rate sped up as Jacob threw an arm over his shoulder and walked him into the store. He watched dumbly as Jacob ordered ten macarons of various flavors with his usual jubilant smile, then hit himself in the head and sighed. What was he  _doing,_ letting Jacob do stuff like this? This was  _Jacob Bae_ , the massive asshole of a person he had cut from his life, not his childhood best friend.

⠀⠀When Jacob came back to him with a prettily decorated box of macarons and another bag hanging off of his arm (full of candy, Kevin supposed), Kevin was holding out two 10,000₩ bills out to him. "For the macarons," he explained briefly when Jacob shot him a confused look.

⠀⠀Jacob pushed the bill away. "Nah, my treat. We'll share," he said, smiling. Kevin frowned and waved the 10,000₩'s in front of his face adamantly.

⠀⠀"No, take it, Jacob. Seriously," insisted Kevin. When Jacob shook his head, clearly set on not accepting, Kevin just heaved a big sigh and stuffed the bills back into his wallet. With a big huff, Kevin said, "I don't like being indebted to people."

⠀⠀"Oh, was that the problem?" Jacob asked. When Kevin nodded, he shrugged. "If it bothers you so much, you can buy us boba. I feel like it'll go super well with these macarons, anyway," Jacob proposed, a pretty grin on his face. Kevin rolled his eyes, knowing damn well that macarons were far more expensive than two measly boba teas, but he wouldn't be given any other option to pay Jacob (who was arguably more stubborn than Kevin was) back, so he soon stuck his hand out for a shake despite his guilt, which Jacob obliged to.

⠀⠀"Deal."

⠀⠀They walked to one of the numerous boba places and Kevin bought their boba teas (Thai tea for Kevin and matcha for Jacob) before they both sat down at a nearby table in the food court. Jacob opening the big box of macarons was like ripping the lid off of Pandora's Box, evident when Kevin immediately went to town on the desserts (he wouldn't say it out loud, but Kevin truly was thankful that Jacob bought the macarons. He was pretty sure he could die happy right then and there once he bit the first one).

⠀⠀When Kevin realized he had eaten half of the confectionary treats—a bit embarrassing, as he wiped off the stray crumbs from the corners of his mouth—he pulled back and gestured at the box of sweets to Jacob. "Sorry for eating so much," he apologized sheepishly, rubbing his nape, "but they're seriously so good. You  _need_  to have some."

⠀⠀Jacob, who had been sipping on his matcha boba tea the whole time and was halfway done, shook his head. "Nah, it's all good. You can have them all if you want, Kevin," he said leisurely, his lips pressed into an amused smile.

⠀⠀Kevin resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but managed a small frown. He was getting a little sick of Jacob being so nice today. "But it's your money, Jake," he insisted, pushing the box of macarons towards the other boy. "I can't just eat all of them when the whole thing is, like, fifty dollars at home—"

⠀⠀"Kev—and yes, I can call you that now since you called me Jake," Jacob defended when Kevin shot a glare at him, "I literally don't care if you eat all of them. If it would make you happy, then I'd rather see that than eat the macarons, okay?" he said, a sweet smile on his face. Kevin felt his heart rate speed up and repressed the urge to swear. He  _hated_ how it didn't even feel like Jacob was lying.

⠀⠀"Okay, but—" Kevin took a macaron out of the box a bit too aggressively, squishing it a little, and held it out to Jacob, "—you need to eat at least one," he demanded, an air of finality surrounding his words. "I'm not even kidding; they're  _that_  good."

⠀⠀Jacob rose an eyebrow, but he just chuckled and plucked the squished macaron from Kevin's thin fingers. "Anything for you, Kev," he said simply with a cheeky smile, popping the whole thing in his mouth before Kevin could even correct his usage of the latter's nickname.

⠀⠀Kevin couldn't even tell if he was red from anger or from the embarrassment of Jacob's dulcet words, and all he did eventually was huff and aggressively suck on his Thai tea.  _Jacob's going to be the death of me_ , he grumbled to himself, mourning his current situation of his most hated enemy/former best friend/crush supposedly sweet-talking him. It really sucked.

⠀⠀Jacob ended up only eating three and stubbornly refused to eat more even when Kevin insisted. He claimed that, because Kevin liked macarons more (which was true; Jacob was always more of an ice cream and shaved ice person, if Kevin recalled correctly), Kevin deserved to eat more. Nothing could persuade Jacob otherwise (discovered when Kevin tried to do exactly that for over five minutes), and Kevin just relented at a point and stuffed the remaining two into his mouth reluctantly.

⠀⠀"Boba's not even that expensive," Kevin mumbled through his last few bites of macaron. "It's not fair to you, Jacob! Seriously," he insisted when Jacob just face-palmed and shook his head with a sigh.

⠀⠀"Kev, I—"

⠀⠀" _Please_  stop calling me Kev. It's Kevin."

⠀⠀Jacob huffed through his nose, clearly a bit irritated but he pressed on nonetheless. "Kev- _in_ ," he said, putting extra emphasis on the additional syllable, "I keep telling you it's not that big of a deal! It's my treat, so stop worrying about making it even or anything. It's a gift, and gifts don't need anything in return."

⠀⠀Kevin snorted. "You really just took that last line from Bible study?" he asked mockingly. Jacob just rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

⠀⠀"I don't care what you say, Mr. Dave was a great youth group leader—"

⠀⠀"You are a  _nerd—_ "

⠀⠀"— _but_!" Jacob reached over and put his finger to Kevin lips, effectively shushing the other boy into a shocked silence, "That's not the point! My point is that I want you to chill the hell out about it because I'm not gonna make you pay me back or anything, and you shouldn't feel bad about me paying. It's  _fine_."

⠀⠀"Yes, I know ' _it's fine,'_ " Kevin put the words in quotation points, "but I'll have you know that it's a pride thing and there's no way in hell I'm not gonna feel bad about you paying forty whole bucks for macarons and for me to eat seventy percent of them." Annoyed, Kevin gestured at the empty box in the middle of the table, then pulled out his wallet again and began leafing through the bills. Jacob immediately reached over and began swatting at his hands.

⠀⠀"Kevin, no."

⠀⠀The boy in question stopped briefly to glare at him. "Kevin,  _yes_ ," he shot back before returning to his search. Half of Jacob's body was now on the table as he reached over in an attempt to block Kevin's attempts.

⠀⠀"Kevin Hyungseo Moon, I literally wont accept any money you give me—"

⠀⠀"Jacob Junyoung Bae, you  _literally_ will." Kevin punctuated the last word with a loud smack as he slapped two 10,000₩ bills onto the table, wearing a victorious grin on his face. The grin soon faded as Jacob whipped out his wallet and threw another two 10,000₩ bills onto the table, which was then followed by an angelic smile.

⠀⠀It was at this moment that Kevin realized Jacob's smile would probably be the leading cause of a heart attack for him, but Kevin refused to bow down to the brightly-beaming boy in front of him. "Jacob, I'm gonna leave if you don't stop it," he finally threatened, nothing but seriousness in his voice.

⠀⠀"Oh, c'mon, Kevin!" Jacob sulked as his face dropped, a small pout on his face. "You're really going there? That's no fair," he complained. Kevin huffed and crossed his arms.

⠀⠀"Neither is you paying forty bucks for something you barely got to eat. Welcome to my world, Jacob."

⠀⠀The two stared at each other for several seconds, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, before Jacob eventually just heaved a big sigh and grabbed three of the four bills from the table to put in his wallet. "You paid for boba, so you get that one." He laughed a bit at Kevin's confused expression, jerking his head toward the remaining bill.

⠀⠀A young girl—maybe four, five—suddenly ran up to them and waved with a toothy grin, the red bows in her hair bouncing a bit from how fast she had come. When the two boys looked at each other curiously, seemingly asking each other via telepathy what to do, a woman rushed towards them and heaved a sigh of relief.

⠀⠀"Sukyung, you can't run off like that," the woman scolded the now-laughing little girl. She straightened to look at the boys and bowed a bit in apology. "I'm so sorry that my daughter interrupted you boys. You boys really look like a lovely duo, and I hope you weren't on a date," she said with an apologetic smile before taking the girl's hand and walking away.

⠀⠀"Um, actually, we're not da. . . ting." Kevin's words trailed off as he realized the woman was too far away to hear what he was saying anyways. His face was beet red—and surprisingly, so was Jacob's—and he hurriedly stood up from his seat, chucking the macaron box into the nearest trash can ad he coughed awkwardly. How embarrassing was it that they got mistaken as a couple; especially him and Jacob?

⠀⠀"So, uh. . ." Jacob rubbed his nape, suddenly unable to meet Kevin in the eye, "that was sorta, ah, weird, right?" he asked with a stiff, lopsided smile. Kevin nodded, staring at literally anything else other than Jacob's face.

⠀⠀"Oh, yeah,  _totally_ ," he confirmed, doing his best to hide his red cheeks from the other boy.

⠀⠀There was a beat of silence, but it was broken when Jacob quietly murmured, "I mean, I didn't mind it  _that_  much."

⠀⠀Kevin's head whipped around, his eyes wide, only to see Jacob still not meeting his eyes and wearing a shy smile.  _Ba-dum. Ba-dum_. "What?" he asked, only to receive no reply. He wasn't even sure if he had heard what Jacob said correctly.

⠀⠀"Ah, you wanna walk around a little bit? We can go shopping or something, or just try on clothes," Jacob suggested easily after a couple seconds, hands shoved into his pockets. The pink on his cheeks betrayed his nonchalance, but Kevin hardly wanted to think about it anymore. Trying to figure out Jacob's feelings only served to give him a headache.

⠀⠀"Sounds good."

⠀⠀They spent the next two hours trying food samples, eating candy, making jokes, talking about elementary memories, and walking around. Kevin found himself relaxing around Jacob every time Jacob laughed, even if it was just a tiny bit. He discovered near the end of the hangout that he didn't quite want the day with Jacob to end already.

⠀⠀When he got home at 7PM, Kevin hooped onto his bed, grabbed his pillow, and hugged it tightly. His face was red, he had a dumb smile on his face, and his chest felt all fuzzy on the inside after the day finally ended as his mind raced with all the day's proceedings. After a moment of thinking, Kevin then heaved a heavy sigh, then proceeded to smash his head with the pillow and flop back onto it.

⠀⠀ _I'm_ so  _fucked_.

**Author's Note:**

> PROMO: follow me @angeiicbae on twt and @junyoungist on ig for tbz, exo, multifandom fun!! love ya, thnx for reading and see ya next time!!


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